October 19, 2008

Job Interview Questions Translated

If you are called in for an interview with a potential employer, you are most likely qualified for the position and capable of doing the job. Out of the hundreds of resumes employers get for one position, they can be quite selective, only picking five or ten of the most suitable applicants. So what is the purpose of the interview if employers know you are qualified? Although the hiring manager will want to make sure you are intelligent and that your personality fits the company culture, beyond that, there are three main objectives lurking behind most job interview questions: 1) Are you willing to do what you are told, 2) Are you willing to put up with the unpleasant elements of the job, and 3) Are you willing to do both of these things with little compensation or guarantee of career stability?

Below are ten common interview questions, along with a translation of what the employer is actually asking you.

  1. Are you the kind of person who wants to leave the office by 5:00 p.m. or stay until the work is done?
    Translation:  I want to hire someone that I can take advantage of. Will you work overtime without being paid for it?
  2. Are you looking for a job or a career?
    Translation:  You are going to be doing boring work for little pay, but I want your loyalty. Will you dedicate yourself to my company until we are ready to lay you off for cheaper labor?
  3. Are you passionate about this job?
    Translation:  I know this job is boring, but can you pretend to love it?
  4. We are looking for a self-starter. Are you a self-starter?
    Translation:  Once I hire you, I don’t want you to come and bother me with any questions, because frankly, I won’t know the answer. In fact, I’m not even sure why this job exists.
  5. What is your greatest weakness?
    Translation:  I’m looking for a reason to not hire you. I haven’t found it yet. Maybe you could find a reason for me.
  6. Is your salary requirement negotiable?
    Translation:  I know you deserve a respectable salary, but I’d rather not give it to you. Can we work something out here?
  7. Are you good at taking instruction?
    Translation:  You’re going to be my bitch. Are you cool with that?
  8. What was the worst job you ever had?
    Translation:  This job will be slightly better than that.
  9. Tell me a little about yourself.
    Translation:  I could not think of an actual question to ask you. Try and give me an answer to a question that I should have asked.
  10. Are you a team-player?
    Translation:  There are a lot of idiots working here. Can you put up with them if I hire you?

 

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Comments

  • Nice!  I was wondering what they were really saying.  They actually asked if I was looking for a job or a career.  Pfft!

    Posted on October 19, 2008 at 10:21 pm

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